I miss you in waves
The kind that swallow you whole
And spit you out in pieces
Upon a beach with familiar scenery
I suddenly doubt things like gravity
And my sanity
I cannot trust even memories
Since now they are all mixed with illusions
Caused by the irritating intrusion
Of self doubt
And on this shore, where I once walked happily about
I tiptoe
Afraid, I suppose, of the undertow
For I know I am nothing against a raging sea
Just a fading footprint
In a now faulty memory
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
What I am sure of
There is no longer an in-between
Words, once compounded
Are singular and stern
Worlds, once collided
Are filled now with yearning so potent
It fastens me to memory
What a terror a girl like me can be
Me with my wordy poetry
This bullshit blog
This woe is me
How heavy a night like this could be
If you still slept beside me
And I woke you from your dreams
To dissect my own
Could you still soothe my worried mind?
Still find the time to appease me
When all you wanted to do was sleep?
Why can't I just dream at night?
Why must these reveries haunt me so?
Make it so
I cannot fully wake
Because I am always dreaming of what could be
Living half asleep
And now, all alone
Words, once compounded
Are singular and stern
Worlds, once collided
Are filled now with yearning so potent
It fastens me to memory
What a terror a girl like me can be
Me with my wordy poetry
This bullshit blog
This woe is me
How heavy a night like this could be
If you still slept beside me
And I woke you from your dreams
To dissect my own
Could you still soothe my worried mind?
Still find the time to appease me
When all you wanted to do was sleep?
Why can't I just dream at night?
Why must these reveries haunt me so?
Make it so
I cannot fully wake
Because I am always dreaming of what could be
Living half asleep
And now, all alone
Monday, August 8, 2011
Hiatus
Under perfectly clear skies
A sun that burns my eyes
In a room that always feels strange
I encounter thoughts I cannot seem to arrange in a way
To make anything make sense
An imaginary fence separates
As if 400 miles were not enough
As if I needed some other arbitrary invention to keep my distance
Sorrow is so persistent
Like an unstoppable leak
And the sadness creeps till I am ankle deep
Wading, waiting for sleep
A long hiatus
A sun that burns my eyes
In a room that always feels strange
I encounter thoughts I cannot seem to arrange in a way
To make anything make sense
An imaginary fence separates
As if 400 miles were not enough
As if I needed some other arbitrary invention to keep my distance
Sorrow is so persistent
Like an unstoppable leak
And the sadness creeps till I am ankle deep
Wading, waiting for sleep
A long hiatus
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Your echoing existence
Ripples through me
You are cocain in good weed
What is the point of good weed then?
I am not much for pen these days
Forgive me for not wanting to see my misery in print
So the sound of departure now becomes
The pounding of keys and heart
And there is always that part of the night
When I realize my foot stretches all the way across this lonely bed
When every thought in my heavy head congregates
And suffocates me
Till I fall alseep
If only I could rest in peace
Ripples through me
You are cocain in good weed
What is the point of good weed then?
I am not much for pen these days
Forgive me for not wanting to see my misery in print
So the sound of departure now becomes
The pounding of keys and heart
And there is always that part of the night
When I realize my foot stretches all the way across this lonely bed
When every thought in my heavy head congregates
And suffocates me
Till I fall alseep
If only I could rest in peace
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