Ache

Ache
Vodka-induced
Plus the absence of you

The bottle hits back
As a matter of fact
Well past noon
But still too soon to rise
To face a new day

I pull the shades and hide beneath the blankets
In the bedroom we don't share
So many times
I have imagined you here
But dreams are cruelest at their break

And a thirst just as great
Creeps in
You are only alive in fantasies
And even then
You are scolding me for my self pity

You aren't the kind to cower beneath sheets
Or hide from the day
But let me cope the way I need
Let me pick these scabs
I need to bleed
To see it running down my knees

It's the only way I am able to recognize reality--
Blood stains and vomit
You're goddamn right I'm running from it

And I know that makes me weak
I've heard your self-righteous speech
You've always been so much stronger than me

But I have given up on sobriety and ever finding sanity
That cold, quiet place drives me crazy